1. If she isn't buying a house, she should get a good neighbourhood whose rent she can easily renew. If she plans to travel a lot, Ikeja is a better place to live in - with good proximity to the airport. 2. She should get a car for mobility. She can't trust the bus system.
3. She needs a generator and fuel reserve for the days of dryness. 4. If she is religious, she should find a neighbourhood church. If she plans to start a business, she should get a neighbourly location. Traffic in Lagos is a mess. 5. The Police is not your friend.
6. If she has an accent, she can use it in professional setting. She should never use it in the streetor at least tone it down, unless she wants to be exploited. 7. Have a friendly relationship with your neighbours beyond "hey" and "hello." This is not UK. It will come in handy.
8. Have a good sense of humour. Nigeria will make you laugh. You can't runaway from it. 9. We live by the "dash." Relationships would be built by dashing people money. Know when, whom and how. It is important to have powerful friends in low places too.
10. Please Party or Hang out at night. Never understaimate the opulence of the 9ja night life. It is the beat place to have fun anywhere in the world and connection are often formed where the lights are dim.
11. You're in Nigeria now. You are a part-time tout. Know when to be a Chimamanda and when yo be an Omo Ghetto. The street is the street. Everyone is out to take advantage of the other. 12. Never trust your mechanic. Go with a male friend or you'll pay triple for nothing.
13. Nigerian men are generous. Like the old saying goes, if someone gives you money for nothing, it is not for nothing. Do what you want to do but use your head. You're not special. Everyone is given money in this country.
14. When in a difficult position, yse the phrase "Do you know whom I am?" Feel free to garnish it with a little threat or pretend to make a call. Your accent will come in handy here. Na who jonz, fuck up.
15. Learn pidgin. That is the lingua franca not English. Try at least to understand if you can't speak. 16. Don't get carried away with Pounds. You will spend more in Nigeria. Opening your front door cost 20k. Everything in Nigeria cost money 17. Get your PVC and vote Peter Obi
18. Know how to negotiate. The prices in the open markets are not the actual prices. It is to test your street credibility. You can trust the mall for quality but if you need it cheaper, call a friend. He knows whom how, where or whom to call.
19. Don't complain about the traffic. Just adjust. Nobody can fix it. 20. Always fumigate your house. Malaria is prevalent. Like Olamide said, dem no fit wear agbada for mosquito.
21. Run regular STD test. You'll knack na. Everybody in Lagos is fucking themselves. You're not special oo. If it is Abuja, please add prayer and fasting. 22. Remember to get your PVC and vote Peter Obi. Change begins with you too. 23. Lagos and Abuja are your best call.
24. Welcome to Nigeria. Have fun